ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
