Is it because I queefed?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
