So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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