"it" just moved
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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