Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
