god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
