i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
