U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
