the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
