Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
