and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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