But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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