she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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