do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
