Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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