spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
