hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
