Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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