Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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