when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
