I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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