There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Are my feet made of real feet?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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