I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Every concussion has its silver lining
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
