Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
