In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
