So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
