false alarm. still invincible.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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