I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
