I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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