oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
