I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you would pick up someone in the library
My balls are so social today.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
