great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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