pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i've created a new STD.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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