I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
