smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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