Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
