Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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