we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
