we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
