I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
