I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
