All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
