I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
