She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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