she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
