i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
