R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
