I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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