I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
