1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
