Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
only you would photoshop your dick
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
