would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
