We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
