Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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