I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize