but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
