You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
