you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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