I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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