I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
