I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
